Ok, love

There is a nurse who answers the phone often at Sloan Kettering. We have never seen each other that I know of. I remember countless short conversations that we have had, and she always calls me “love.”

“Yes, love”

“OK, love”

“Hold on for one sec, love”

“Have a nice day, love”

It hit me the last time we spoke, months ago. She said it, like she always had, and I started to weep. She probably says this to every person, but it didn’t matter. I felt it. The love. Sincerity. I felt seen, held. It reminded me that any action, no matter how small, can make a great impact.

Since then I have adopted her phrase more regularly. At first it felt false, insincere- I’d get a hit of my judgmental mind shouting “you’re not the kind of person who calls people love! You aren’t like that! You keep your distance.” But slowly it has become a new norm.

Since becoming a mother I recognize another part of myself opening- the woman who shows love through touch. Loving touch. Even a small gesture, a circular motion across a friend’s upper back, releases a wave of tension away. Don’t underestimate a show of love, however small.